For a Pessimist, I am pretty OPTIMISTIC
They say good things must come to an end. As for me, it should but it must not be that fast.
Have you ever been stranded?
Have you ever been asked to break up without knowing why?
I DID.
It was some Friday night that me and my friends (Tropang G) was having a get-together. I was cheering for the fact that I really have everything that I wanted: a great family, good friends, a cool boyfriend, a nice job at a call center and everything else. You know the kind of feeling that things are already in your way and that nothing could go wrong.
We were enjoying the happy moments that we had when I was brought to life with a text message. The very message that made me realize that the world can stop anytime. It goes:
That day it felt like my feet was not on the ground anymore. For crying out loud, why? Why does it have to be that fast as if nothing has happened for the past 2 years and 3 months? That message marked the very first reason of my long depression.
People see me these past few days as if nothing has ever happened between Marlon and I. Whenever they are asking me why I still look okay, this is always my answer, “Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap ang plastikin ang sarili mo? Ang maging masaya kahit gusto mong umiyak. Yung tipong gusto mong sabihin sa buong mundo na napakaunfair nya sayo. Kung pede lang, ginawa ko na matagal na.”
I lost my heart and so is…
MY LIFE…
for the past two years.
I became depressed. I became sober. Until one day I just found out that I was already terminated at the call center where I was working. I am telling everyone that it was a personal choice for me. He is, as in fact, one of the reasons why I am working. And to my dismay, I just found myself empty-handed after the said termination. With no direction and with nowhere to go. It is true that I found real company with my friends now, the Tropang G. They are trying to pull me up. But then, I refused to take their hands.
Right now, to tell you honestly, I still don’t know as to where I should begin. I am still stranded and broken. Please lend me a helping hand. I could use so much of that now. But then, I should have more sense in my head now for I am turning 20 years old this year yet it doesn’t feel like it.
To tell you frankly, it will really be hard to recover from this heartache. I am not saying it’s going to be easy. It’s going to be the toughest one I have ever encountered. But I stand by what I’ve said earlier. I should take this as an opportunity for me to emerge to a different, improved and to be the best person that I can ever be. I should be more optimistic and more purpose-driven. For as the saying always goes, “There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.”
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